do you ever get the feeling that you are someone's backup? and not in a good way, like "i'm going in, you're my backup", but in a way like "i am calling you to hang out, but only because no one else can". i think i have made a living out of being a backup. i am like, the leading backup lady. it's worse than a supporting actress because at least supporting actresses get their own scenes, whereas i only get lines if so-and-so is doing something and is unavailable to hang out. so i'm like an understudy. perfect example: on my seventeenth birthday my BEST FRIEND left my house and told me she was going to get her stuff to sleep over and she took my other friend with her and told me to wait at my house for them, that they'd be right back, and guess what? they came back at four in the morning. she went to spend the night with her boyfriend instead. so i spent my seventeenth birthday waiting for my best friend to come back. another example: same friend, different night. i was hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend, she was sleeping at my house. she lieft at like ten to take him home, said she'd come right back, and guess what? i fell asleep waiting for her. she showed up at three a.m. and woke me up, and then made me feel like i was a crazy byotch for having my feelings hurt and being upset. look people. i don't care if you call me, i don't care if you show up, but please, please don't tell me you will. it's like when friends write in your yearbook "we'll hang out!!" and it's like uh, ya, right. that i even understand b/c it is from people who you just have classes with, but what i can;t understand is when it's done by your best friends. i'm so tired of hearing "i'll call you" or "i'll be there in a minute" or "let's do something this weekend" and then having nothing happen. i just end up falling asleep by the phone. and that is the worst feeling ever. waking up and realizing nobody called. i don't mean to be bitchy, or to like be venting on this thing, i am just tired and sad and kind of a little lonely. and it's nobody's fault except mine, and it's not even one friend in particular that i am talking about. i'm just asking for everyone in my life to please, please cut me some slack. i am sick and i hurt and i'm tired of hurting and crying. this is just a mess. i'm gonna go watch some LOST. alone, in case anyone is wondering.
just for once in my life i would like to be someone's first choice instead of their last.
signed, gabrielle.
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3 comments:
Isaac said that you are never his "Back Up"...your his leading lady
Gabby, I think at some point in life we all have gone through that messy situation....especially when we have the less dominant personalities...people tend to walk all over us....some friends may do that...but others won't and those are your real friends...by the way I wish I was watching LOST with you...I love it...and I would REALLY come over if I lived in AZ!! Great seeing you at Thanksgiving...Love you guys, Kare Bear Oh and if your wondering why the hell Im up so early...its called pregnancy insomnia...don't get pregnant!, or drink and drive, or watch LOST alone :)
Gabby...bring Lost over and hang out..whenever! Seriously I've been saying how I want to get the seasons of lost and start watching it cuz I missed it from the beginning and you know how it is trying to start in on a show like that after it's already like a season in, so please, come over and hang out sometime or something, I have 2 kids here and sometimes I get lonely, I miss hanging out with my friends, after you have kids and a full time job it's hard to make time with friends, especially if those friends have kids and a full time job, it literally takes months of planning for one night to go as planned to hang out for me..call me!! Text me when you are bored..whatever but I know how it feels! I hope you don't think I'm a bitch because I have had some bitchy moments and I'm sure that is how you remember me from the dinty moore beef stew and clueless days! anyway I'll email you on myspace and give you my number and if you don't call me I'm going to be sad and have hurt feelings!
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