chop chop

so, it's only three and a half inches, but when you don't have inches to lose in the first place, that seems like ALOT.

it was v.v. difficult for me to get any decent looking pictures. probably because i have a breakout of lurking lurkers on my shnozz.

strawberry, strawberry.

there are so many more creative and cutesy titles i could have used for this post, but i couldn't gether up the energy to choose one. basically, i changed my hair color for spring. i am now a strawberry blonde. we'll see how long this lasts. right now i am pretty frustrated bc it is really damaged. oy. i can't win in this life. this picture really doesn't depict the color well, but i can't seem to take one that does.

i have new hair.

so, after a year of being THIS.........


as of three o'clock this afternoon, i am THIS.......

what the WORLD?! i brought the fringe back, too. i'm kinda sad about the lack of redness in myhair, even though i've had it for a long time now. actually, i wasn't sad until i saw that picture up there. that made me sad. i was a jenny lewis, i'm now a zooey deschanel. please someone out there tell me that they uunderstand that reference.

alice in wonderland.

lert me just preface this post by saying that ever since i was a young buck i have wanted to work at disneyland. but not just any job, i wanted to be a character, one of the ones who gets to wear a wig and a dress and sign autographs and pose for pictures, one who has a line following her wherever she goes, and preferably one with a british accent, as that is my favorite accent to annoy people with. anyways, that fact may help you understand why there are a gazillion pictures too many of me dressed up as alice in wonderland. this is my favorite movie, and the movie in which i collect the most things from (i.e. books, posters, mini figurines, dolls, stuffed animals, blankets, etc.). being dressed up like this really made me want to work for disney again (although this time my dream can't include working as alice, as alice musn't be taller than 4'10") and it also made me want to go blonde again (i have issues). i also couldn't help the sudden urges i would get to sign an autograph, or courtsey for a photo. and don't think that the entire night i didn't say "shAUnt", and "cAUnt" instead of "can't", because i did. i also found myself using annoying phrases like "oh dear me". my 8-year-old self is jumping for joy.


when will i ever be dressed up so beautifully again? never, probably. not if i want to get married in this life anyways. so i pretty much went crazy with my camera. to move up the "nerd" meter one more notch, i shall include my favorite lines from the movie to go with each picture.



"if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. and contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? "


"you may have noticed that I'm not all there myself..."

"curiouser and curiouser...."

"well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are until someone finds you. but who'd ever think to look for me here?"

"oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. why, you're nothing but a pack of cards!"

Caterpillar: Who... are... you?

Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I've changed so much since this morning, you see...

Caterpillar: No, I do not C... explain yourself.

Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, you see, because I'm not myself, you know.

Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: I can't put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn't clear to me.

"curiosity often leads to trouble..."

alice: "but I don't want to go among mad people!"

chesire cat: "oh, you can't help that, most everyone's mad here."

doorknob: "read the directions, and directly you will be directed in the right direction."

alice: "better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later... oh well."

"it would be so nice if something would make sense for a change..."

"well, after this i shall think nothing of falling downstairs!"

"when i get home i shall write a book about this place... if i ever do get home..."

//-//-//-//-//-//-

some of my other favorites:

"of all the silly nonsense... this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life!"

//-//-//-//-//-

king of hearts: "rule 42: all persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!"

alice: "I am not a mile high, and I'm not leaving."

Queen of Hearts: "Sorry. Rule 42, you know."

//-//-//-//-//-

March Hare: "why don't you start at the begining?"

Mad Hatter: "yes and when you reach the end... stop."

//-//-//-//-//-

"i'm tired of being only three inches high..."

//-//-//-//-//-

"i have an excellent idea... LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"

//-//-//-//-//-

"ahoy, and other nautical expressions!"

//-//-//-//-//-

Tweedle Dum: "if you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know."

Tweedle Dee: "contrarywise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us."

Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum: "that's logic."

//-//-//-//-//-

"oh yes mustard! that'll do... MUSTARD?! don't let's be silly. now lemon, that's different..."

//-//-//-//-//-

Mad Hatter: "ah thank goodness! those are the things that upset me!"

March Hare: "see all the trouble you started?"

Alice: "but I didn't think..."

March Hare: "ah, that's just it. if you don't think, then you shouldn't talk."

//-//-//-//-//-

"no wonder you're late. why, this watch is exactly two days slow."

//-//-//-//-//-

"in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures."

//-//-//-//-//-

"goodness. i suppose i'll be taking orders from dinah next."

//-//-//-//-//-

"we'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!"

//-//-//-//-//-

"sentence first! Verdict afterwards."

//-//-//-//-//-

Alice: "Oh, no, no. I was just wondering if you could help me find my way."

Cheshire Cat: "Well that depends on where you want to get to."

Alice: "Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as... "

Cheshire Cat: "Then it really doesn't matter which way you go!"

//-//-//-//-//-

i do hope my nerdiness entertained somebody,

gabrielle.

fall... you know, like leaves FALL?!

basically, these are just pictures of my new "darker" fall hair color. they are the kind of pictures that i post of myself that make my muti laugh at me on account of, as she says, "who takes pictures of themselves like that?!" (aparently, me, though i'm not sure why). so, these are for you, d.w. view them, let them sink in, enjoy them.

i don't know where i am, i don't know where i've been but i know where i WANT to go...

so my computer is still at the geek doctor, i haven't even heard back from them yet (wonder if i should be concerned?) well, anyways, i still don't have my oregon pics :(
side note: it has occurred to me lately that i may be one of those people who use those emoticons... like the parenthesis smiley face. is it a parenthesis? is it a smiley? ya, i am just realizing how lame i can actually be. as if the pictures of myself weren't proof enough, folks... we now have parenthesmileys to verify my L7-ness.
anyways, not much else to say other than i am sick with a summer cold (boooooo). i'm actually just really relieved that i didn't have it in oregon b/c that would have been shasta mc nasty if i was coughing and sniffling the whole time. so very very UNsexy. although i may have sealed my UNsexiness when i wore my owl mumu to bed. it is so sad to me that something i love so much can be so shunned and not accepted by society. but like i always say, if a man can't handle me IN my mumu, he probably cannot handle me OUT of my mumu, and if that is the case, was he really a man to begin with? shouldn't that be like, stitched on a pillow or something? or at least on a bumper sticker.
that is all i have to say for now. i just finished making TEN mixes for my michael and i must send them off to oregon vair vair soon. i am pretty much the best mix maker in the whole YOU ESS of EH, no lie. do you love how i am doing all of this computer madness via my daddy's laptop? well i do. i am working from a mac and i usually work from a p.c. i know, i am ashamed. i cannot wait to get my new laptop though. then i can be back to my old self.
lateskys!
love, gabrielle.


p.s. these are pictures of my hair which i coloured and cut all by myself last week before i left for oregon. let's see how many more times i can say oregon in this blog..... OREGON!



















"this is the first day of my life,
i'm glad i didn't die before i met you.
but now i don't care, i could go anywhere with you
and i'd probably be happy.
so if you want to be with me...
with these things, there's no telling,
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.
but i'd rather be working for a paycheck,
than waiting to win the lottery.
besides, maybe THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT,
i mean i really think you'll like me."

food baby.

these are some pics of my new hair/glasses. i don't know why i am posting them... to pass the time i guess. there is something quite depressing about watching someone's life go on without you. even though you've moved on without them. that happens to me sometimes, especially with myspace and facebook and blogs, etc. i find these people on these sites, sometimes they are friends that i used to have or whatever. but i hate reading their stuff. it's like annoying to see their lives. i'm sure that sounds so bratty of me, but it's late and what can i say? i'm in a bratty mood. it just seems like even though i am past certain points in my life, and i have moved on to other things, there is a certain sting when seeing that they've moved on without me as well. even though that is what i would expect them to do. there is also like, this (not so) small part of me that hopes that they take glances into my world and see that i have moved on, and that it hurts them too.

argh there is also this very big part of my that hates being patient and just wants everything to happen N-O-W. thankyouverymuch. i hate waiting. i am so impatient. i just want everything to hurry up and be what it is. and i'd like to not be lied to on the way. so this blog is probably my first blog in a long time that doesn't make sense. i can't seem to get my ducks in a pond and make sense of my thoughts. it is late but it seems later than it is. my eyes are dipping.

you know your life is crazy when the only thing that makes sense is a seventeen year old.

confused but still yours,

gabrielle.

callou, callay! no work today!

"...come and walk with us,

the day is warm and bright.

a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

would be a sheer delight!"

- "the walrus and the carpenter", Lewis Carroll.

this weekend was one of my first weekends "off" in a long time, probably since the new year. usually my half days and weekends are spent running errands or doing hair, and i purposely left this weekend empty, scheduling only one haircut so i could have the day to myself. the question is, what does one do with herself with an afternoon off? keep in mind that i have no children, and really, no social life (by choice, mind you). i don't know that there really is an answer to this question, but i do know what my answer was on saturday. i coloured my hair, went to lunch with my parents, and took photos of myself. call it vanity if you will, but in my opinion, it can all be chalked up to boredom and having access to my very own camera. i'm sure none of you can see where i'm coming from on this, because you all have children, therefore you always have a subject to shoot from behind the lense of your camera. but, alas, i do not, as i still reside on spinster lane. so until i do, i shall remain the subject of all of my photoshoots. and for now, that's alright with me.

i just got through watching one of the most depressing movies ever, "Becoming Jane" tonight with my mom, under the reccomendation of my friend cassie jones. she names it her favorite movie of all time and she watches it daily while she works out. while it was very good, i also found it a bit depressing. nevertheless, i'd still watch it again and will probably purchase it since it contains james mcavoy and he has completely, 100% stolen my heart. it was well acted and contains one of my favorite lines of all time "i shall live by my pen". it was really interesting to get to know, in a sense, jane austen or at least a bit of her life, sad as it may have seemed. but, you know, she is kind of this example of "cool" to me in a way. she loved to write, and she did it, even though literally everyone around her told her not to, and even some despised her for it. she was considered by most a "slacker" or a "dreamer" since writing wasn't a profession for many back then. despite all of that she went on to become not only financially successful in her time, but is also widely acknowledged as one of the best writers of all time. her books have been read by millions time and time again, not to mention made into movies, and spawned movies based on her ideas. she didn't compromise her beliefs, not once, though she felt pressure from her parents and society to marry. "Affections is desirable, money is absolutely indespensable!" yells her mother at one point, and yet she still refused to marry for money alone. the ironic thing is, she ended up becoming quite rich and she did it completely on her own, with her silly little dream. that's pretty inspiring. after she refuses numerous proposals from the same man, some "rich booby", she is asked by one friend, "how will you survive?" to which she replies: "i shall live by my pen." and that's exactly what she did.

before and after.

me before...
me after.


in keeping up with the "new year, new you" thing, i decided to try a new hairstyle. so i chopped my hair off, got killer fringe, and dyed it red. je lurve it alot. it's a good change for me.
i went to the doctor last week and i have to have a vair vair scary proceedure done on the 30th of january. so, keep me in mind on that day, as i will be severely violated.


not much else to report these days. nothing i feel really comfortable writing about at this point anyways. thanks for all of the support!


love,
gabrielle.

we sure are cute for two ugly people...

dear avid readers of this blog that i call mine,

salutations and seasons greetings. i wish you tidings of great joy. i must confess, the reason i am writing is not the reason i should be writing. i.e. i should be writing because i have something to say, and in this case i have nothing to say. the only reason i am typing right now is because it's been five days since my last blog. there has to be something to say.

i finished chrimboli shopping. i have bought for everyone on my list. and i've already given to sandee and samantha. i am so relieved to have everything DONE! and with a week to spare. yes, i'm that good. this past weekend was a fun one. i saw i am legend. also on saturday night at the mall i saw the beardiest boy. man, he was dreamy and he had such a nice beard. i mean, if there was an oscar for best performance by a leading beard on a face, his beard would have won... hands down! he asked me what my favorite band was. i of course replied "three doors down" because i am maniacal like that. and is maniacal even a real word? one can never be sure. i got ready on saturday night so i took some pictures of my chrimbo outfit. melis said i should take some so i did. i am going to send a picture out with each christmas card which is code for NONE as i am not doing christmas cards this year, or any year for that matter. can you imagine a spinster christmas card?! uh, yes. here is my with my cats. oh and don't forget my dog, he has a fuzzy fu man chu beard to match mine. only i don't have a beard, it is under control as of late.

tomorrow is a busy busy day. kenneth comes home!! tomorrow night at 1030 and i have a truck ton of crap to do. i am going to see kim dance at the temple and then i am coloring my hair and kim's hair. and i am also going to a movie and shopping with sambone.

i hope you all know that something very awkward happened to me today. and i hesitate to talk about it on my blog, for fear of being politically incorrect with my labels, but if i can't be politically incorrect here, then where the hell can i be?! so, a retarded man came in to work today. and i for reals mean retarded. we were really super busy and he kept coming up to my desk and staring right at me and grunting and breathing heavy and it was really awkward. i called my office manager (aka my mom) and told her about the sitch and she told me to grow up. but guess what? i am up and it was still weird. i had to keep opening the door for him and he kept asking me to light his cigarette which may or may not have been code for something. and all kimbizzle and kady could do is laugh at me. only it wasn't very funny. i guess now, looking back on it, it is a little bit on the hilarious side. but at the time i didn't find much humor in it. we broke two records today at work. we saw 60 patients (previous record 58) and we had 69 scheduled (previous record 64). wow. go team FOPT!

tuesday is tomorrow which makes me filled with glee because it is a half day. oh yeah, and have i mentioned that kenny comes home? right, he does. not that i'm like totally FRICKIN psyched for that or anything. let's have a good day tomorrow, shall we? let's go out on a limb and say no scary panting staring retards on tuesday!!

desiderata.

dear friends,

today is tuesday which is humpday minus one. which means that tuesday PLUS one equals HUMPDAY which, in turn, is tomorrow and that makes me filled with glee. today was my half day at work and i spent my afternoon going to the gym, doing syd's hair/make-up for her wedding photos, and getting my hairs done. how exciting is that? so... sydney's hair and make-up turned out so beautiful today, i was really happy and so was she. not that we ever doubted me, but there's always like a huge sigh of relief breathed by me when someone is ultra super happy with the way they turn out. so, A+ for me and A++ for sydney for getting married in a bloody week and a half. (hers is the wedding for which i have no date) but, such is life when you are a lonely lark in a sea full of blue jays.

i went to the gym today and my mother was SUPPOSED to meet me there (emphasis on the word "supposed") because oooohhh noooo! she never showed up. because why? oooohhhh nooooo because she was talking to my aunt kristi. so i was forced to gym by myself. which of course forced me to make up stupid moves at each station. for example, at one station i did the snoopy dance, while at another, i kick boxed. and at another, i did the robot. all by my lonesome. and i stood by the window and waited for my mommy's car to pull up and it never did. so sad.

i've been thinking thoughtful thoughts lately (which are never good), and i was thinking today about how nothing can last forever, and how all good things must come to an end, and a bunch of other cliches such as those, and i was just remembering my summer. i think the reason i started thinking about my summer was because i was talking to my friend about her summer. she was telling me how this past summer was the worst of her entire life and then she proceeded to list the reasons why it has been labeled as such (all of which were extremely good reasons). and so, with talk of summer, i started to remember mine. and this past summer was so amazing for me. it was probably one of the best of my life, and for so many reasons. first off, it is the first summer in about 4 years where i am at a job that i love, and working with people i love. that hasn't been the case since i worked at the salon with my uncle and sam (not to be confused with uncle sam). not that i didn't like working at my last job, because i did. but whatever that is not the point. another reason i loved this summer is because kady and i had sleepovers pretty much every night. and we got to go swimming and sing karaoke and sleep together in mumus. and none of that happens anymore on account of we aren't really friends anymore. and that's ok. i went to chicago with my family, and i got my first chanel bracelet. i guess those all sound like stupid superficial things, and they aren't really what made this summer amazing, it was more who i spent my time with rather than what i did with my time, or what i bought. kenny was in arizona for most of the summer, and i had blasties with him. i had a summer full of pizzookies, denny's at 2 a.m., being loathed by waiters/waitresses, photoshoots (we discovered how to take black and white pictures on his camera.. haha), long drives, emmy/oscar talk, reading imdb forums at 3 in the morning, watching horrible rob zombie remakes, buying over-priced suede jackets... really the list could go on forever. and then to finish the summer off we got to go to Disneyland together. i mean, really. how lucky is that? it was my most favorite time of my life. so why does it sometimes make me sad to think about it? i don't understand how something that was once so amazing turns into something that, at times, makes me ache. and then i think again about those phrases. "nothing gold can stay". why does it have to be like that? does it ever really have to be that way or is it something we do to ourselves so our lives are more dramatic? i wonder if i've spent the last year trying to end a relationship that never really started, just so i wouldn't get hurt. my plan backfired though, because i'm still hurting. i didn't save myself from anything. i didn't spare myself any heartache. maybe what i did, or what i am doing, is shutting myself off from having any connections at all. is it better to live life that way? i think maybe i have wandered into a completely different topic here, and that wasn't my initial intention, so all apologies. i just want to remember to enjoy the good times while i have them. i mean really really enjoy them instead of thinking of a way to protect myself from the hard times that lie ahead. because whether i am protected or not there will always be hard times, and i'm learning now that there won't always be amazing times.

the title of this random little blog of hopelessness is the french word meaning "things that are missed". i think it was a good choice. and yes, it was a great summer.

signed,

gabrielle.