say.

i'm having a difficult time right now deciding which of my thoughts i should say out loud and which thoughts i should leave in my head. things have been pretty crazy lately vis a vis my emotions... they have kind of been all over the place. hence, my hesitation to say what i feel when i feel it. alot of the time i don't feel the same way a few days later (sometimes even a few hours later) . i've always been a pretty emotional girl, and i quite like that about myself. i like that when i am happy, i am consumed by that happiness, that it crosses borders into other parts of my life. i also like that i have the ability to be sad, that i have the ability to identify my sadness and express it and learn from it. it seems like lately i have been filtering my thoughts a bit more and not saying as much as i usually do, which may be a good thing, i don't know. i just know that on occasion, i feel like i am going to either explode or drown. which sounds worse than it is. probably. there really is no point to this rant other than to say that i don't know what to do. for the first time in a long time i feel a bit lost. today i was going through some music and i came across a song by john mayer and i kind of hate quoting him because he tends to be a douche more often than not. but his music is actually really, really brilliant. there's a song of his called "say" that i read the lyrics to and one line in particular caught my attention. it's weird bc i don't always get inspiration from songs, but it's always really eye-opening when i do bc it's usually from songs that i've listened to a thousand times. anyways, if you get a chance you should read all of the lyrics to that song bc, even though it was written by a douche, the whole song is amazing. i'm just going to print the lyrics that stood out the most to me...

"IT'S BETTER TO SAY TOO MUCH THAN [TO] NEVER SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY."

so, after a night of "dreaming" about scenarios, a few hours of deliberating and thinking, and finally after consulting my "go-to" peeps (thank you malia and trevor) i decided that it's best that i say what i need to. it's better for me anyways. i could sit here and be bothered for the next few hours/days/weeks/whatever, or i could just say what i feel and be done with it. i think relationships would be so much easier if we could all just do eachother that little courtesy. when i think of how much time i've wasted worrying and over-analyzing it makes me nuts. it's all very high school, the worrying and deciphering "guy code" and such, and it seems like such a waste of time. especially since, as much as i would like to be (ha ha), i am NOT in high school anymore. and, like (apparently) everyone else, i am busy (yes, that can be an excuse for me too, though i don't use it as one).
there are so few times that i regret saying something. in fact, off hand, i can't remember any situations where i regret speaking my mind. that's not to say that i don't remember a time where i told someone how i feel and they didn't feel the same way, bc i remember quite a few times like that. i even remember feeling embarassed about what i said. but there are so many instances that i can think of-right off the top of my head- where i held my tongue and didn't tell someone how i felt, and those are the things i regret, those are the moments that could have changed everything. i just think that it's better to say what i feel and get it out there and know for certain that someone knows what i'm feeling, no guesses on their part or mine. i gotta tell you, if someone's decision to jump ship is based on my thoughts or feelings, then it's best that they jump ship sooner rather than later.

love actually.

the other day i was thinking about this thing that happened to me in seventh grade and it's a pretty great thing, so i thought i'd share.
for my brithday in seventh grade (i was turning 13, just wanted to bring you all to a mental place with me) my friend gave me a case of flavored water. i know, it sounds random, actually it was really nice b/c flavored water had just become all the rage so... i was the coolest thirteen-year-old of all time. anyways i was given this case of like, 24 water bottles that i then had to cart around all day (not that i'm complaining...) needless to say it got old after like, three classes. there was this kid in science who i sat by (we'll call him "Kid A", for privacy reasons) and we used to talk in class all the time, we were like, science class friends or whathaveyou. the point is, we weren't like besties or anything, but he offered to carry around my water case for me from class to class.... which he then did b/c apparently i let him. let's just say for my sake that i argued with him about it a bit before i let him do it, i don't want to seem like some seventh grade kino jr. high diva or anything. the point is, Kid A walked along side me for the second half of my day and carried my case of flavored water for me so that i didn't have to. what kind of a kid does that? in seventh grade, no less. me being my seventh grade, self loathing self really thought nothing of it, but thinking about it the other day made me think that he probably was crushing on me a little bit, you know, in a seventh grade way. the point of this rant is, i thought everyone hated me in junior high. granted, i had some pretty significant things happen with people that would make me think that, but still. i kind of spent my time with these people who were always more popular than i was, always richer, always skinnier (although never funnier or better dressed, i'm just sayin'...) and i think i kind of fell by the wayside a bit. i kind of flew under the radar. i was always "so-and-so's friend". guys didn't like me b/c why would they when they could like my friends? (don't get me wrong, i am quite happy that i don't have the track record that most girls have from high school). remembering this story though, it made me think of other things and it kind of made me realize that love actually was all around me when i was growing up, it just wasn't in the form that i was looking for, or the form that i knew how to identify. it wasn't the kind of love my friends were receiving so i just didn't notice it. it all makes me wonder what kind of love is being thrown my way now that i am missing...

how cute is Kid A, btw? that was pretty stellar of him, regardless of why he did it.

everybody's happy in california...

me and some steel man.

i prefer my sea cucumbers sans warts, athankyou.

jellies!!!

this guy was disgusting. i feel bad for him though bc his tank was like three sizes too small. kinda cruel if you ask me...

me and a frickin sea turtle.

the bay.

i decided that penguins are the proudest creatures. just look at them. they are practically pledging alliegance to themselves.

me and my brudda!

eels just creep me out. they've yet to redeem themselves after the whole "working for the sea witch" fiasco.

my mommy and i have the same smile.

my new hair/adorable headband.

new hair/adorable headband part two.

this eel is mocking me. look at that sickening smile.

i like to tell myself that this is the sting ray that killed the crocodile hunter. now i can say i met a famous animal.

addicted.

so sad to admit i am addicted to the new miley cyrus song, "the climb".

....actually, i take that back. i'm not that sad to admit it.

download it. it's worth the 99 cents, i promise. if not, i'll reimburse you. scratch that, obama will reimburse you.

the best quote by anyone, possibly, ever.

i felt it necessary to dedicate a blog to quite possibly the best quote ever said by anyone ever that was said last week on the view. but which one of those lovely ladies gave us the gem? it was babs. oh, babs! where have you been all my life?! the pannel was in a heated discussion about facebook/myspace and good old baba wawa got a bit confused (who could blame her? it's a confusing world!!) and actually said: "WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO BE ON MYFACE?"
well....?

my answer to that is, why wouldn't they?

spring break.

hello, spring break. you couldn't have come at a better time. i'm going to coronado this year with my spactacular family. seriously, why do i love my family so much? no wonder i don't make other friends or move out. the point of this rant is, saturday morning couldn't come soon enough b/c i can't wait to get out of here.

summer vacation.

wow. what a lame picture. haha. i was trying to make this BIG announcement, but apparently it's just a small announcement b/c i can't find a bigger picture than that one (or really, i'm not willing to look).

so, happy summer vacation to me because this year i am going to see my favorite people of the moment, the JONAS BROTHERS, at stadium of fire in provo. it's been three years since i've gone to stadium of fire so i am REALLY EXCITED to go back and the fact that i get to see the jonai while i'm there pretty much just makes my life. i was really worried about getting tickets since there was somewhat of a frenzy in ut when they announced who would be performing. i had to work out a strategy for my online ordering that involved five laptops- three in az, two in mn- and three desktops- two in az, one in mn. it was pretty crazy there for a while (the website was crashing bc all of the people logging on at once) and i really didn't think i was gonna be able to get tickets. i got through and we ended up with seats ON THE FIELD which is really really lucky since it's probably the only time i will get to see the jobros that close up. and my family from mn is gonna drive down and go with me so i don't have to adorn the field alone. i'm really so excited. i am having a hard time expressing emotion lately, it's very weird for me. i'm finding myself struggle to find words to describe how i am feeling, and for those of you that know me, you know that i've never been one to not know how to express myself. so it's very bizzare and quite unnerving. then i get these huge rushes of emotion where i just feel so much that i want to scream and it usually results in me crying. like last night when my brother hit me in the face with a ball- twice. i just flew off the handle. and yesterday when i was making lunch i was watching the disney movie sky high... i hope you people know what i am talking about when i mention that movie. ok, it's not even a sad movie but it is about this high school for super heroes and at the end all of the "side kicks" get to step up and be heroes... hahaha... and i dont remember exactly what was said, but the gist of it is that everyone can be superheroes, even sidekicks or something totally cheesy like that. well, i started to cry. no really, i did. and then i was like laughing b/c i am like "really, gabby? are you seriously crying right now about this?" but i did, and i was. and it's true, right? i can be a superhero.

gotta go before i start with the water works again. le sigh.

gabrielle.

**side note: i have spent the past two weeks or so defending the fact that i, quite often, enjoy pop music (namely the jonas brothers). it has been driving me crazy defending these guys and their "legitimate" talent... i don't know why it bothers me to have people make fun of them, but it does (i'm just going to blame that on the weird hormones too). i have seriously been having flashbacks to circa 1999 when i had to defend *NSYNC and britney spears bc i SO loved them and everyone else in my family SO did not. i was pretty much made fun of for like five years straight until the general public decided that justin timberlake was legit, along with britney spears. so... whatever, that's all water under the pop bridge or what have you. my point is, if you don't have anything nice to say about these boys, then just don't talk to me about them. at least, not until my hormones organize themselves, b/c it bugs the fire out of me. i'm not saying you have to like them, but you definately have to just let me like them and leave me alone about it. kthanksbye.

strawberry, strawberry.

there are so many more creative and cutesy titles i could have used for this post, but i couldn't gether up the energy to choose one. basically, i changed my hair color for spring. i am now a strawberry blonde. we'll see how long this lasts. right now i am pretty frustrated bc it is really damaged. oy. i can't win in this life. this picture really doesn't depict the color well, but i can't seem to take one that does.