6.24.2009

positive/negative.

PLUSES:
These are the things that made me smile over the past couple weeks...



The Proposal. I feel like by seeing every other Sandra Bullock movie I’ve already seen this movie, but I took a chance and went anyways. It was surprisingly cute, although I think a lot of that has to do with Ryan Reynolds and his sweaty body, but that’s another story. Anyways, this movie knocked The Hangover out of the number one spot so that deserves some plus points in my book. Plus 100 for the number one spot and plus an extra hundred for Ryan Reynolds and his vegetable oiled abs. You really could make brownies on those things.
** also, sandy's hair had great bounceability factor in this film. way to go, sandy b.

Bruno. This movie looks hilarious. I went to see Year One on Friday night and this preview was funnier than the entire movie. Sascha Baron Cohen is grotesque but oh-so-hilario and I am actually semi-ashamed to admit my excitement for this movie. Sadly I can't post the trailer on here bc there's a copright on it, but you can find it on youtube. I think his accent is what kills me the most. 500 points for Bruno!

*how can it not be funny?

Chace Crawford. Oh dear. This boy gives Zefron a run for his money. He has a slight case of fem-face but I’m looking past that on account of the fact that he is dreamy and quite possibly a republican, which means he is smart too. He is on the cover of People Magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelor issue which means he beat out people like Zefron and Robert Pattinson which, in this day and age, is hard to do. I’m not thrilled about the news of a Footloose remake, but with him in it, I’ll deffo be seeing it opening weekend. 77 points for Chacey-Face.

*muy delicioso. too bad he had to share the cover with scary kate. yipes!

Michael Cera. This boy has had a vair special place in my heart for years on account of him being George Michael Bluth in what is probably my favorite show of all time, Arrested Development. I know a lot of people feel like he plays the same character every time, but he plays it so well, why shouldn’t he? So he’ll never win an Oscar, but (cheesy enough as it is) he has already won my heart. I mean, this kid is what made Juno bearable for me, and that is saying a lot. He has a movie coming out in August that I am beyond excited for. I’m going to give him 50 points for making Year One watchable for me. Thanks, mike.
*look at that face. you have to lobe him!

Paper Heart. Ugh. I about die every time I see this preview. I am so excited for the movie, which comes out August 7th. I really get nervous when I am so excited for a movie, because so often I am left unsatisfied, but I really think this one is going to deliver. I think about thirty seconds into the trailer, Charlyne Yi says “I don’t believe in love” and that is when I knew that this movie is going to be amazing. My friends always give me a hard time when I say that I don’t believe in love or that I would choose money over love, so the instant I found out the premise of this movie, I was intrigued. Who knows, maybe I’ll be an actual human being after I’m done watching it. At any rate, it looks like a sweet summer flick and I am v.v. excited to see it. Oh and it has my favorite Michael Cera, did you see him in there? How to-die-for is he? Just a little tid-bit, while filming this movie, Michael and Charlyne (wait for it) fell in love (awww, big, “Full House”-type sigh now, everyone) and they are now dating in real life. Oh, young love. Why haven’t you found me? Anyways, 500 points to Charlyne Yi for writing the movie, and another 50 for Michael Cera. And ten points for the little black girl who, in the trailer, says “When you love someone you take them to Applebee’s and buy them hot wings”. What is more adorable than that?







Books. Ah, yes, I forgot about books there for a moment. I love books, books, books. I love getting lost in the pages. Books are like music for me in that I can totally get lost in one. I’ve had an unfortunate run with books lately, though, because I haven’t read a great one in so so long. I often find myself wondering if I have read every great book that there is to read, simply because I can’t find any new material that really amazes me. Recently I discovered that two (TWO!!) of my favorite authors are coming out with new books in a short few months and ever since then I have found myself itching to read. One of the authors, Laura Moriarty, wrote a book a few years ago called The Center of Everything that holds a spot in my top 10 favorite books of all time list (have I given you that list? It’s an amazing one, I’ll tell you that for free. Maybe some other time?). She has a book coming out on August 4th called, While I’m Falling that sounds so magnificent, I can’t wait to read it. If any of you are looking for a great summer read, go get The Center of Everything, you’ll instantly fall in love.

Another of my favorite authors is a British woman, Louise Rennison, who writes a teen series about a girl named Georgia Nicolson (who is hilarious times a thousand). I read my first Georgia Nicolson book in 2003 and have been in love ever since. I think the reason I loved the character initially is because it reminded me of a sort of British version of myself. Georgia gets herself in the most interesting situations, and her foot pretty much lives in her mouth. The tenth and final book comes out October 6th so last week I re-read books 1-9 to refresh my memory and they are as hilarious as the first time I read them. They are really very easy reads, I mean, I read nine in one week so you can imagine that they’re quick. I actually am so eager to find out how the series ends that I ordered the 10th installment via amazon UK so I could get it on June 25th instead of waiting all the way until October. Haha what a nerd. Guys, read some books. If you need some suggestions, I’ve got a ton. 5,000 points for reading!! Yay!
*the first eight books in the Georgia Nicolson series.

* the ninth book.
* the tenth and final book. this is the UK cover. the US cover hasn't been released yet.

Jonas Brothers. Come on, you knew they were going to be on this list somewhere. This has actually been a great week for them. Last Tuesday they released their fourth studio album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times, and it is currently number one (!). In a couple weeks, they will grace the cover of Rolling Stone magazine for the second time in a year, still holding the record for the youngest band ever to be on the cover. Aside from being (in my opinion) dream boats and hunk-a-sauruses, they actually write really good lyrics and music and they are AMAZINGLY nice human beings. They’re on the cover of Good Housekeeping this month with their mother, Denise, who gives a great interview about being a mother and making good decisions as a mother. They were on Larry King Live last Thursday and they held their own against the corpse in suspenders. They hosted the MuchMusic Awards in Canada last weekend AND they kicked off their world tour (of which I am attending TWO dates this summer). They even made time to stop by the White House yesterday to talk to congress about juvenile diabetes which Nick has started a foundation for. Phew. It’s exhausting being good looking and doing good works all while fighting rumors of dating Miley Cyrus (I haven’t experienced this personally, I’m just assuming…). Yay for the Jonai. I just want to give them a million points for making such a great album.
* "boys to men", indeed.


MINUSES:

There are few (if any) excuses for the following:

David Archuleta’s dad. Don’t even know his name, although I don’t think it’s an important part of the story. He was arrested last week for prostitution. I know we are all human and everyone makes mistakes but, way to go, Mormon dad!! So sad for little Archie and his family L poor fella. I don’t know if there are enough minus points for this. Sad city, population: Papa Archie.

Transformers. I don’t know if I am being harsh on this movie because Megan Fox is in it or because I have a sixth sense for detecting stupid movies. The review on msn.com was hilarious and also may have pushed me closer to deciding that I won’t see it. I’ve spent enough money on lousy disappointing movies, I don’t know if I have it in me to sit through another one. Supposedly there are two new cars introduced that are “Jar Jar Binx”-like characters. Didn’t we all have enough Jar Jar Binx to last us, well, forever? I love me some Shia LaBeouf, but I don’t know if he is enough to save this movie. It’ll probably make a killing at the box office, but for now it sits on my minus list.

Megan Fox. Who else is tired of hearing this broad talk? Perhaps more annoying than her comments on kissing girls, legalizing pot, and sleeping around (all sprinkled with colorful language) is the fact that people keep asking her these questions. Why do we care again? And aren’t you dating the guy who isn’t Dylan from 90210? Don’t worry, though. Talk to her for five seconds and she’ll tell you all about her bisexuality, how she loves smoking weed, and how she hates wearing clothes. Maybe what I find so weird is the fact that the general single Mormon guy population thinks that she is the hottest thing on the planet. I’m actually pretty shocked by that since I thought that almost everyone shared the opinion that she is pretty much trash personified. You wouldn’t believe the amount of Facebook statuses this morning that said “Megan fox is hot!” or “forget the movie… Megan Fox is a goddess!” Right, boys. And I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother. I hate to sound so bitter about her, and it’d be different if she had something intelligent to add every once in a while, but it’s like she just says what she thinks she is supposed to say to sound cool. What is this, the eighth grade? Minus 500 for her, I don’t care how pretty she is. And minus a thousand for any guy who thinks she is amazing.

Year One. This movie was just disappointing. I was so looking forward to it, too so I was really bummed. Aside from a few funnies, it was a dud. The formula seemed fool-proof. Michael Cera, Jack Black, cameos by Paul Rudd, David Cross, and Bill Heder, directed by Harold Ramis… but it just wasn’t enough. I did, however, laugh my guts out during the credits when Bill Heder did his impression of Daniel Day Lewis. But I’m pretty sure me and d.w. were the only people in the theater who got the joke. Minus 9 because that’s how many dollars I spent on the ticket. (alright, d.w. bought the ticket. Sorry!)
*hilarious guys in even more hilarious loin cloths? sadly, not hilarious enough.

New New Moon book cover. If I have to see any more behind the scenes on this movie, I may barf. This whole series has become so unfortunately over-exposed, it saddens me. At any rate, changing the cover of a book that is already on the shelves to match the movie poster is just a shameless marketing ploy. Minus five.
* i don't know what to address here. the bad tattoo, the ghastly face in the moon, kristen stewart in general? too much to handle. but they do include a handy "exclusive" poster inside the book.

Mexican food. Because I just ate some for lunch and now I feel like I may explode. Ugh.

6.22.2009

tim burton's alice in wonderland...

i am beyond excited for this. favorite director? tim burton. favorite disney movie of all time? alice in wonderland. one of my favorite actors? johnny depp. march 5, 2010 cannot get here fast enough. USA today leaked some pics from the movie set today. just thought i'd post them for anyone who is interested.




anne hathaway as the white queen.



johnny depp as the mad hatter.




helena bonham carter as the red queen.


mia wasikowska as alice.

matt lucas as tweedle dee and tweedle dum.

I AM ZO EXCITED! the new official alice in wonderland movie site is up and running at disney.com. you can sign up there to receive emails about updates and stuff.

6.21.2009

chop chop

so, it's only three and a half inches, but when you don't have inches to lose in the first place, that seems like ALOT.









it was v.v. difficult for me to get any decent looking pictures. probably because i have a breakout of lurking lurkers on my shnozz.

6.05.2009

plus means positive, minus means negative.

here is a list of my pluses and minuses of the week, straight from this girl (me):

plus: joe jonas' you tube video of him dancing to "single ladies" by beyonce. hate the song, love this leotard. enjoy.




joe gets +500 for dancing in that thing. and +100 more just for being a jonas.

minus: that stupid eminem and bruno stunt at the mtv movie awards. google it if you don't know what that's all about. i can't post it on here. it's too ridiculous. minus a thousand for both of them. meh, minus a thousand and one for eminem.

plus: coldplay's free album. they kind of sort of stole this idea from radiohead, in the sense that well, radiohead did it two years ago, but still. coldplay isn't my favorite band, but they're good enough. thanks, coldplay. download the album for yourself at coldplay.com

+100 for coldplay. and +150 for radiohead because they did it first. oh and -50 for chris martin (lead singer of coldplay) for being married to g. pal.

minus: jon and kate plus a thousand magazine covers. really, guys? there's nothing else to talk about? didn't any of you see the joe jonas video? let's discuss that some more. -300 EACH for jon and kate. but +150 to him for being married to her.

plus: lauren conrad leaving "the hills". couldn't be more happy. that show has gotten zuper lame lately. i'm glad she is moving on. i lobe her quite alot. i'm not going to lie though. i may watch the next season of "the hills" just to see what a b. kristen is. +500 for lauren because i like her. just minus everything for the rest of the cast.



minus: lauren conrad writing a book. yeah, not even like a biography. like an actual real teen novel. i read a snippet of it in "teen vogue" the other day and yikes. bad move, lauren. you're on thin ice with this one. i'm going to award you -150 points.


plus: johnny depp. he turned 49 this week and still has amazing the bone structure he had in the 80's. happy birthday, j.d. plus 50 for you.


minus: 70's on 7. boy howdy am i sick of 70's music. as i'm typing this, alice cooper is serenading me with "school's out". indeed. minus 70 for this station.


plus: 90's music. what's not to like? you got the good rock(ish) bands like wallflowers and goo goo dolls, you've got good pop music like *NSYNC and britney spears, and you've got the random ridiculous classics like biz markie and new kids on the block. and who could forget "ice ice baby" or "hammer time"? plus 90 for the 90's!!


minus: telemarketers. i get about four calls a day from telemarketers. and they are constantly asking for a man named "regino". hmmm... never hoid of him. for some reason they don't understand when i say that this is a business, not a residence. they always ask, "well then do you know a regino?" or "do you know where i can reach regino?" negatron on both accounts, telly market men. i've no idea where reggie has run off to. and even if i did, i wouldn't reveal his whereabouts to you people. so there. minus 100 each for every person who asks for regino. also, minus 500 for regino for giving people my number. thanks for nothing, buddy.


plus: disney/pixar's UP. man. i cried for about the first 15 minutes of this movie. just a straight streamline of tears down my face, creating a puddle on my chest. then, a couple times in the middle my nose got burny like i was maybe going to start up again. to finish things off, i shed a few tears (only a few) at the end. this movie was spactacular. it was an amazing and clever story line and it was visually stunning. if you get the chance, see it in 3D. and don't be late because there is a teaser trailer for "toy story 3" in the beginning. plus 68.1 million for "up" because that's how much it made at the box office opening weekend.


here's one more plus to finish off the week:
"away we go". i've been so very excited for this movie ever since i saw the trailer back in february. i love the director (sam mendes), i love the writers (dave eggers and vendela vida), and i love the actors (john krasinski, catherine o'hara, allison janney, to name a few). i'm a bit concerned that it will just be the typical indie flick (a la juno) but i have high hopes for it. it's gets released today, but since i live in no man's land i will have to wait to see it. as of now i'm not sure when it'll be released here in good old arizona. so here i wait.

6.04.2009

random texts.

oh, hi. random texts are the best. the past couple of days it seems like i've gotten more random texts than usual, which makes me happy. here are a few of note (is that even a saying or did i make it up?):

d.w.: "did you know that in the e.r. 'gsw' stands for 'gun shot wound', not 'gabby sue walz'?"
*she thought that was pretty cool, until i informed her that "gw" also stand for "genital warts" in the medical world. she still thought that was pretty cool, i had to inform her that it was, in fact, not that cool.

jordan: "i just saw my two favorite ladies tearin' up the sidewalk!"
*he sent this after he saw me and d.w. on our nightly neighborhood jaunt, to which i replied: "you mean mary kate and ashley?!"

samantha: "you were his best student. he (Lenny, her dog) framed your thesis paper. it's next to his doggy bed"
*this was actually notso random. it was in reply to my text reminding her when her dog lenny was my professor.

kenny: "at the airport. this little girl says 'daddy why can't i bring my bubbles?' and he says, dead serious, 'because of al-qaeda' "
*there are so many great ones from kenny. this one is actually from a while back, but i still have it and i still love it.

leslie: "thank you for being my friend. i would have it NO other way. i would be sore lost without you."

jim: "open the internet, go to google and type 'define: pangs' to get a dictionary of pangs as i did."
*ok, this is my fave kind of randoms to get. he sent me this at 10:49 pm. and when i did as he asked, i found that the definition of pangs that he got was "an episode of the fourth season of buffy the vampire slayer" or something to that affect. he always used to say how lame i am for loving that show so much. at the time i got this text, we weren't really friends anymore, so that made it all the more random. but the point is, he thought of me because of that definition and so he texted me to tell me that he thought of me. such a lovely thing.

lincoln: "gabbi we have not seen each other for over two months... it's time we take care of that."

and this one comes from chanel, this very morning.

chanel: "knock knock"
me: "who's there?"
chanel: "britney spears."
me: "oh boy"
chanel: "no, no. you are supposed to say 'britney spears who' ! do it!"
me: "ugh. i am more concerned about what miss spears is doing at my door at 7 a.m. britney spears who?"
chanel: "knock knock"
me: "i already said who's there! i can't type alot because i am driving!"
chanel: "well this joke is super hard to do over text. but the point is i'm supposed to start the joke twice and then say 'oops, i did it again!' i'll make a note that it doesn't work too well over text."
me: "dang. that actually is pretty funny."
*sorry i ruined your joke, chanel. i didn't mean to. you know i'm a grouch in the morning. i don't see colors before noon. have fun in the specific northwest. come back soon.


yeah so the moral of this story is SEND ME RANDOM TEXTS.