These are the things that made me smile over the past couple weeks...
Bruno. This movie looks hilarious. I went to see Year One on Friday night and this preview was funnier than the entire movie. Sascha Baron Cohen is grotesque but oh-so-hilario and I am actually semi-ashamed to admit my excitement for this movie. Sadly I can't post the trailer on here bc there's a copright on it, but you can find it on youtube. I think his accent is what kills me the most. 500 points for Bruno!
*how can it not be funny?
Chace Crawford. Oh dear. This boy gives Zefron a run for his money. He has a slight case of fem-face but I’m looking past that on account of the fact that he is dreamy and quite possibly a republican, which means he is smart too. He is on the cover of People Magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelor issue which means he beat out people like Zefron and Robert Pattinson which, in this day and age, is hard to do. I’m not thrilled about the news of a Footloose remake, but with him in it, I’ll deffo be seeing it opening weekend. 77 points for Chacey-Face.
Michael Cera. This boy has had a vair special place in my heart for years on account of him being George Michael Bluth in what is probably my favorite show of all time, Arrested Development. I know a lot of people feel like he plays the same character every time, but he plays it so well, why shouldn’t he? So he’ll never win an Oscar, but (cheesy enough as it is) he has already won my heart. I mean, this kid is what made Juno bearable for me, and that is saying a lot. He has a movie coming out in August that I am beyond excited for. I’m going to give him 50 points for making Year One watchable for me. Thanks, mike.
Paper Heart. Ugh. I about die every time I see this preview. I am so excited for the movie, which comes out August 7th. I really get nervous when I am so excited for a movie, because so often I am left unsatisfied, but I really think this one is going to deliver. I think about thirty seconds into the trailer, Charlyne Yi says “I don’t believe in love” and that is when I knew that this movie is going to be amazing. My friends always give me a hard time when I say that I don’t believe in love or that I would choose money over love, so the instant I found out the premise of this movie, I was intrigued. Who knows, maybe I’ll be an actual human being after I’m done watching it. At any rate, it looks like a sweet summer flick and I am v.v. excited to see it. Oh and it has my favorite Michael Cera, did you see him in there? How to-die-for is he? Just a little tid-bit, while filming this movie, Michael and Charlyne (wait for it) fell in love (awww, big, “Full House”-type sigh now, everyone) and they are now dating in real life. Oh, young love. Why haven’t you found me? Anyways, 500 points to Charlyne Yi for writing the movie, and another 50 for Michael Cera. And ten points for the little black girl who, in the trailer, says “When you love someone you take them to Applebee’s and buy them hot wings”. What is more adorable than that?
Books. Ah, yes, I forgot about books there for a moment. I love books, books, books. I love getting lost in the pages. Books are like music for me in that I can totally get lost in one. I’ve had an unfortunate run with books lately, though, because I haven’t read a great one in so so long. I often find myself wondering if I have read every great book that there is to read, simply because I can’t find any new material that really amazes me. Recently I discovered that two (TWO!!) of my favorite authors are coming out with new books in a short few months and ever since then I have found myself itching to read. One of the authors, Laura Moriarty, wrote a book a few years ago called The Center of Everything that holds a spot in my top 10 favorite books of all time list (have I given you that list? It’s an amazing one, I’ll tell you that for free. Maybe some other time?). She has a book coming out on August 4th called, While I’m Falling that sounds so magnificent, I can’t wait to read it. If any of you are looking for a great summer read, go get The Center of Everything, you’ll instantly fall in love.
Another of my favorite authors is a British woman, Louise Rennison, who writes a teen series about a girl named Georgia Nicolson (who is hilarious times a thousand). I read my first Georgia Nicolson book in 2003 and have been in love ever since. I think the reason I loved the character initially is because it reminded me of a sort of British version of myself. Georgia gets herself in the most interesting situations, and her foot pretty much lives in her mouth. The tenth and final book comes out October 6th so last week I re-read books 1-9 to refresh my memory and they are as hilarious as the first time I read them. They are really very easy reads, I mean, I read nine in one week so you can imagine that they’re quick. I actually am so eager to find out how the series ends that I ordered the 10th installment via amazon UK so I could get it on June 25th instead of waiting all the way until October. Haha what a nerd. Guys, read some books. If you need some suggestions, I’ve got a ton. 5,000 points for reading!! Yay!
Jonas Brothers. Come on, you knew they were going to be on this list somewhere. This has actually been a great week for them. Last Tuesday they released their fourth studio album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times, and it is currently number one (!). In a couple weeks, they will grace the cover of Rolling Stone magazine for the second time in a year, still holding the record for the youngest band ever to be on the cover. Aside from being (in my opinion) dream boats and hunk-a-sauruses, they actually write really good lyrics and music and they are AMAZINGLY nice human beings. They’re on the cover of Good Housekeeping this month with their mother, Denise, who gives a great interview about being a mother and making good decisions as a mother. They were on Larry King Live last Thursday and they held their own against the corpse in suspenders. They hosted the MuchMusic Awards in Canada last weekend AND they kicked off their world tour (of which I am attending TWO dates this summer). They even made time to stop by the White House yesterday to talk to congress about juvenile diabetes which Nick has started a foundation for. Phew. It’s exhausting being good looking and doing good works all while fighting rumors of dating Miley Cyrus (I haven’t experienced this personally, I’m just assuming…). Yay for the Jonai. I just want to give them a million points for making such a great album.
MINUSES:
There are few (if any) excuses for the following:
David Archuleta’s dad. Don’t even know his name, although I don’t think it’s an important part of the story. He was arrested last week for prostitution. I know we are all human and everyone makes mistakes but, way to go, Mormon dad!! So sad for little Archie and his family L poor fella. I don’t know if there are enough minus points for this. Sad city, population: Papa Archie.
Transformers. I don’t know if I am being harsh on this movie because Megan Fox is in it or because I have a sixth sense for detecting stupid movies. The review on msn.com was hilarious and also may have pushed me closer to deciding that I won’t see it. I’ve spent enough money on lousy disappointing movies, I don’t know if I have it in me to sit through another one. Supposedly there are two new cars introduced that are “Jar Jar Binx”-like characters. Didn’t we all have enough Jar Jar Binx to last us, well, forever? I love me some Shia LaBeouf, but I don’t know if he is enough to save this movie. It’ll probably make a killing at the box office, but for now it sits on my minus list.
Megan Fox. Who else is tired of hearing this broad talk? Perhaps more annoying than her comments on kissing girls, legalizing pot, and sleeping around (all sprinkled with colorful language) is the fact that people keep asking her these questions. Why do we care again? And aren’t you dating the guy who isn’t Dylan from 90210? Don’t worry, though. Talk to her for five seconds and she’ll tell you all about her bisexuality, how she loves smoking weed, and how she hates wearing clothes. Maybe what I find so weird is the fact that the general single Mormon guy population thinks that she is the hottest thing on the planet. I’m actually pretty shocked by that since I thought that almost everyone shared the opinion that she is pretty much trash personified. You wouldn’t believe the amount of Facebook statuses this morning that said “Megan fox is hot!” or “forget the movie… Megan Fox is a goddess!” Right, boys. And I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother. I hate to sound so bitter about her, and it’d be different if she had something intelligent to add every once in a while, but it’s like she just says what she thinks she is supposed to say to sound cool. What is this, the eighth grade? Minus 500 for her, I don’t care how pretty she is. And minus a thousand for any guy who thinks she is amazing.
Year One. This movie was just disappointing. I was so looking forward to it, too so I was really bummed. Aside from a few funnies, it was a dud. The formula seemed fool-proof. Michael Cera, Jack Black, cameos by Paul Rudd, David Cross, and Bill Heder, directed by Harold Ramis… but it just wasn’t enough. I did, however, laugh my guts out during the credits when Bill Heder did his impression of Daniel Day Lewis. But I’m pretty sure me and d.w. were the only people in the theater who got the joke. Minus 9 because that’s how many dollars I spent on the ticket. (alright, d.w. bought the ticket. Sorry!)
New New Moon book cover. If I have to see any more behind the scenes on this movie, I may barf. This whole series has become so unfortunately over-exposed, it saddens me. At any rate, changing the cover of a book that is already on the shelves to match the movie poster is just a shameless marketing ploy. Minus five.
Mexican food. Because I just ate some for lunch and now I feel like I may explode. Ugh.