perspective.

i got a daily calendar for christmas (shout out to chanel) entitled "3,650 things to be happy about". it is a little desk calendar in the shape of a sunshine, and on each day, it lists ten things to be happy about. i am fifteen days in, and everyday i have disagreed with at least one of the things listed. i'm not a debbie downer, i'm just stating facts here. so i started to make a game out of it, sort of. i would read the list, and then i would make my own list, which would be reasons why you would not be happy about the things listed. this sounds confusing, but there's a point, promise. here is today's list.

1. a potluck dinner.
reasons to be happy: you get to eat a bunch of good food with fun people.
reasons not to be happy: two reasons to not be happy about this one. one, i have to make something for a lot of people, and two, i have to eat the casarole that the cat lady brought.

2. buying in bulk
happy: bunch of groovy stuff for small prices.
not happy: throwing away uneaten food.

3. a bagpipe playing.
happy: you've got me on this one. but i'm guessing some people find it soothing? beautiful?
not happy: um... loud bagpipe-y noises.

4. cider-baked ham.
happy: it's delicious.
not happy: i hate ham. plus cider-baked burps.

5. alphabetized collections.
happy: oh, the organization!! oh, the joy of finding something when you need it.
not happy: the five hours it took you to organize it. and the re-working of the organization when you get a new cd, movie, etc.

6. the geology of yosemite.
happy: those huge rocks are quite majestic, aren't they?
not happy: who cares about a bunch of dirty rocks really?

7. periscopes.
happy: you can see far away like it's up close.
not happy: so can peeping toms.

8. drum lessons.
happy: you can become a really groovy drummer.
not happy: you can annoy everyone around you.

9. refuge on cape cod.
happy: lighthouses and sunsets by the ocean.
not happy: who can afford to go to cape cod when they need refuge. i seek refuge in my backyard.

10. soap opera synopses.
happy: ah... where else could you see someone marry their uncle and their twin brother, all while in a coma?
not happy: loss of brain cells.

right, so the list ends up being kind of a downer in the end, but here's the whole point of the thing... it gets me thinking every morning about how i have a choice. i can choose to be happy instead of unhappy. i can choose to laugh instead of cry. i can choose to smile instead of frown. i can choose to be bothered, and i can choose not to be bothered. it really puts things in perspective for me, and it's quite empowering. i choose how my day goes. i choose what kind of life i live.
i cannot choose what happens to me, but i can choose how i react. in life, we get dealt crappy hands sometimes. and alot of times, it seems a bit too much to handle. but it is our reaction to the things that happen to us that makes us who we are. we are not defined by events that take place in our lives, we are defined by what we do with what we are given.
i am not the girl who got picked on in school. i am not the girl who got in a car accident. i am not the girl who used to be friends with that other girl. i am not the girl who never has a boyfriend because all the boys she has liked never like her back. i am not the girl who is alone because all of her friends have moved away.
i am the girl who finds those who are picked on and befriends them. i am the girl who recovered. i am the girl who has a backbone. i am the girl who is independent, who doesn't define herself by who she is with. i am the girl who finds strength in the lonliness. i am a girl who can stand on her own two feet. i am a listener, a bleeding heart, a friend.
that ended up being a bit more "women's lib" than i originally intended, but don't worry, i'm still wearing a bra. i haven't burned it.


...yet.